In the crosswalk.  I threw my bagel and hit the car. Then I ate the bagel. Everyone who drives in Brookline is an assclown.

If you see a silver convertible BMW with the license plate NCN and a faded pair of Red Sox underneath the plate driving around today, tell the fat entitled bitch behind the wheel that Grimlocke the bike vigilante says Hi. She’ll probably know who you mean. Also remind her that the bike lane is never a casual parking spot, even if you ‘have a child in the car’, because yes, I do indeed have all day, and yes, I will call our good friends the police. Because yes, I am a smartass bitch. I chose it as a hobby because I have a knack. I should have taken a picture of this chubby twit.

On the topic of things I should have taken a picture of – the second person I stopped to be a smartass bitch at today because they were parked in the bike lane was actually a woman with a beard. I just kept riding. Some things you just have to let go.

This weekend the bf and I rented a Zipcar and drove to P-town. Our goal was to get caught in Hurricane Danny (sadly later demoted to Tropical Storm Danny),  get rained on at a local campsite with other members of the Gozerian Society, and possibly get swept out to sea on my first visit to the homosexual capital of New England. Though we did plow through some pretty deep puddles on the highway, the storm sadly petered out as we were dining at Bayside Betsy’s (which I don’t really recommend, it being typical in the lobster/chowder/deck shoes way of restaurants on the seashore). What I didn’t expect, however, was the mindblowing number of bikes I saw there. There are bike racks EVERYWHERE, and even during this ‘hurricane’, people were pedaling up and down the main strip in flip flops, some even holding umbrellas! All the bikes I saw were of the beach cruiser variety, owing to the fact that there’s only about two miles of rideable area from one end of Ptown to the other.

the moustache helps him blend in

I'm also blending in, with my 'sloppy chic' duds

P-town people relaxin' by the pool.

Ultimately, I give P-town a 6 on the Biketastic Rating Chart, because there’s a ton of great parking, and (apparently) low bike-related crime, but it’s really an all or nothing geography – you have about 5 miles of road altogether in town, and if you live out of town it’s a huge undertaking to get there via bike.

Seems like everyone has voiced their opinion about my little ticketing gag. Oh, what fun! Watch the internet chase it’s tail just because of one little snook cocked at one oblivious motorist. Well, since this has been deemed SO controversial, I say: do it again! I found a pack of 100 tickets on Amazon for $15 (this is the best deal I’ve found so far, they are most often sold 5 a pack for 5 bucks). Here’s the link if you want to join in on the fun!

In other news: by Jove it’s a lovely day today! Not a spec of humidity, hardly a cumulonimbus to be seen. Definitely smacking of New England Autumn, my favorite season ever. This morning’s ride was a turnip for the books: not an unruly vehicle in sight, AND I got a compliment on my sweet-ass Yakkay helmet from a motorist who was next to me at a red light. I love this helmet – I’ve never had one that didn’t bunch up at the back of my neck before, and I really hate the ‘speedy swiss cheese’ look of most available bike helmets. It’s too bad they’re not available in the states yet, I’d love to get a couple different ‘covers’ for mine. Maybe I will sew a cover that looks like a monster head or a space helmet… oh the possibilities. Oh shit, I wonder if these would fit my helmet.

if you can hear the music, it means I'm right behind you!

So cool. Or as Monsieur Danny Rocks would say, ‘so aggressively uncool’.