The Cambridge PD can suck it.

So it finally happened. I proceeded carefully through a red, after stopping, along Mass Ave in Cambridge and lo, two buzzcut headed bullies in blue stopped me and tried to ticket me. Natch, I got out of it, though I’m not going to say how. What I will say is this; don’t try to out run them. They have motorcycles, and they will be pissed if they have to exert themselves, the chubby bastards. Also, don’t try to out talk them. Like most authority figures, it’s a lost cause to try and reason with them logically. Just out think them. It’s not that hard.

Good luck, my fellow rogues!

Ok, I really gave it a shot.

When I was hit by buses on my daily commute, I complained to the MBTA, the police, and our local “Bike Czar”.  ZERO ACTION

When I was repeatedly hit by cars while riding in the bike lane, adhering to the regulations of the road, I followed the same trail of bureaucracy and it led NOWHERE.

Remember this? I filled out quite a few of these complaint forms, and filled them with details of each violation and violator.  NO ACTION

I have repeatedly reported violations, to the point of  going on television (human interest, haha) to showcase the shortcomings of MBTA operators. Since then, the rampant negligence, hostility, and sometimes murderous intent of operators has remained unchanged. This tells me that though reports are being made, they have NO IMPACT on the daily lives of MBTA employees.

Now, the rumor is that Cambridge Police are stepping up cyclist-oriented ticketing. I’m sorry, what WHAT? If you, like me, ride these streets daily, you know that motorists make the monster share of traffic violations. Left on red, running through red, double parking, illegal u turns, harassment of other motorists, hit and runs – give me ten minutes and I can go out and grab at least ten examples on my phone camera. Between Brookline and Somerville, I’m hard pressed to see 5 cyclist run reds, but I have to witness motorists break the law at EVERY CYCLE OF LIGHTS AT EVERY INTERSECTION.

Again. WHAT THE FUCK, Cambridge Police?

If you want to protect cyclists, maybe you should TICKET MORE MOTORISTS.

Maybe this is community backlash brought on by the significant increase in T fares that seem to be on the horizon. Fellow cyclists, have you ever ridden by a 66 bus in October, the people inside sardined against the glass, and really taken a look at their faces? You can tell they’re seething with hate inside, choking on their projected image of the smug, healthy and happy cyclist cruising to work at their own pace every day. I can see how that kind of human wreckage could be feeling significant schadenfreude over this ticketing barrage.

We do not deserve it, and I for one will not fucking stand for it. I will not accept a ticket. Nor will I accept driver’s harassment, threats, taunts and assaults. I will defend myself in whatever manner I see fit, and do everything in my power to avoid street attention by our corrupt and misguided group of overlording institutions.

I gave it my best shot, I really did. Now I guess I’ll be dedicating this blog to the daily thrill of my rebellion. Stay tuned!

I truly wish that the Hero video camera I was trying out to document my commute had been powerful enough to take quality video/audio for more than 20 minutes at a time. I see some weird shit on my daily journey, and it’s inconvenient to whip out my cell phone, since weirdness is fleeting and phone cams take forever to boot.

On Monday, I believe it was, I nearly rolled over a hand grenade lying in the middle of Mass Ave between Porter and Harvard.

This one, to be exact.

I didn’t think much of it beyond, “oh hey, that’s a hand grenade. It’s probably fake”.  Apparently more cautious folk reported it as ‘suspicious’ later on.

A day later, while cruising through Harvard Square, I witnessed a dogfight. Not that interesting except that the dogs in question were in two separate cars, stopped side by side at a red light. I laughed my balls off at that one.

Today wasn’t very interesting aside from the caravan of entitled asshats who were parked in the bike lane outside 65 N. Harvard St. in Allston. That’s right, the causway of death, which even on a good day is lousy with giant, jangling trucks, speeding yuppies and oblivious Harvard jaywalkers.

This is the last car in a line of three parked in the bike lane waiting to pick up their special snowflakes.

I had a bit of time to kill, so I spent it calling the BPD and reading off make/model/plate, while the drivers berated or begged me. My favorite was the european woman in the gold Toyota minivan, who shrieked, “Yes, yes I was in the wrong but I see that now, I won’t do it again. I swear I won’t do it again!”. Adorable.

I waited for a good ten minutes, while the traffic beeped and cursed around these model citizens (I blocked them off so they couldn’t leave, and why not, they blocked me first.) but when the police hadn’t shown up by then, I gave up. I’d say “There’s never a cop around when you need one.” but that is entirely untrue. Just last week, on this same stretch, a man got out of his car to rant at me and call me a prick for calling the cops on him. As we were shouting at each other, a calm and collected Harvard cop strolled up next to us to observe. During a break in our diatribes, he simply stated, “Sir, she’s right. Please move your car.”  I could have hugged him, I was so happy. But instead I thanked him profusely as the gentleman went on his way. Small miracles, right?

I’m not sure how to ultimately combat illegal parking on this strip aside from constant diligence and aggressive vigilantism. It won’t work, because I rarely see the same drivers twice, but at least it gives me something to look forward to during my commute.

I understand that it’s been dreary and miserable for days, and it’s got people on edge. It’s keeping me hunkered down in my living room surrounded by pillows and blankets and videogames, as I  have been all winter. But seriously, automobile commuters, fucking suck  it up. You have a roof. You have heat (usually). You have FUCKING WINDSHIELD WIPERS. I have to reach up and swipe away the droplets collecting on my glasses with an increasingly sodden glove.

This is why it irks me that drivers somehow think they are allowed to be increasingly homicidal when the weather is bad. I was intentionally hit by another driver today, who intoned the old standby, “you should not be on the road!” as he swerved sharply toward me, knocking my front wheel and sending me over the curb.

I had been in the left lane of Eliot street, Harvard Square, about to take a right on to JFK. I stay in the center of the lane during this turn because impatient drivers tend to cut the corner off as they pass me, creating a pinch point that could send me under the car. The middle eastern gentleman in dark blue sedan, plate 6CJ890, was in the lane to turn left on JFK but swerved sharply into my lane as I passed him, causing me to scream and swerve. I caught his plate as I slowly renavigated around him, and continued on down JFK about an arm’s length from the curb.

The gentleman first tailgated me and then swerved alongside to confront me, stating the old standby. As I started to retort with, “You are WRONG, Sir.” he jerked the car sharply toward me in an arc, hitting me and sending me off my bike and on to the sidewalk. I wasn’t hurt much, just a twist of the right ankle and knee and some  palm jarring, but it could have been much worse.

As I was on my way to work in Brookline, I wasn’t able to report this to the Cambridge police, and frankly, I’m not sure I even will. What is the point? The last two times I reported these incidents, I was told nothing could be done.

I regret that this ‘blog’ is turning into a running account of the impotency of the pro-cyclist movement in terms of driver deference, but I am only reporting what I encounter. I don’t encounter people waiting patiently at intersections, or stopping obediently at red lights. I watch people, day in and day out, run red lights, travel in the bike lane, double park, turn left against red and through pedestrian lights, and hit cyclists without remorse over and over and over.

Infrastructure planning is great, but the real challenge is changing the way cyclists are viewed and treated by motorists (and pedestrians, though they endanger us a bit less). And I don’t really see any headway happening in that arena. I wish I had some suggestions, but having to witness the wanton acts of stupidity and violence perpetrated by motorists daily, I am at a loss to even begin how to change their way of thinking. There is simply no way to reach these people. They don’t take the T, so a sign campaign would be fruitless. They may watch television, but who is going to spend the money on commercial spots for PSA’s about how to respect cyclists rights and bodies?

I know what you’re going to say. “Lead by example. Follow the rules, be courteous, and motorists will follow in kind.” And to that I say,

“HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHahahahahahaha..haha…ha.. *cough*  *cough* ”

I used to say the same thing, about six years ago. Since then I’ve learned that no amount of good will and positive example will keep me safe on the roads of Massachusetts or anywhere else.

So ok, I swear that this is the last  of these posts. There is no point in me stating and restating my argument.

Next post, I swear to god, will be a tutorial on how to make Carpunching Gauntlets.

I’m not really on any committee. I don’t go to meetings, for a few reasons, including inability to remember when/where they are, and crippling social anxiety. I’m not part of any official bike club or movement. I’m mostly a loner (Dotty), a rebel. But when I’m on the phone with people, I do make a lot of lofty claims about the level of contact I have in the community – I have a squeaky girl voice, so to be taken seriously on the phone is a bit of a challenge.

Today I spoke to a nice gentleman at the MASSDot about the state of the Mass Pike pedestrian bridge in Allston. He informed me that it is the Mass Pike Authority’s responsibility to maintain it, and not the city’s. He also admitted that he did not have the direct number to the Mass Pike authority. No wonder nothing really gets done around here.

I don’t want to jump the gun and get hopes up, but I have ordered a small, battery powered spy cam. I’m hoping to mount it on my helmet in such a way that all the idiocy I witness during my daily commute is captured and useful as evidence in the event that I am struck (again) or otherwise menaced. Not sure about the quality of the cam yet (it was cheap) or the method of mounting, so this plan is tentative, but I’m pretty excited. I have the feeling that attitudes will be completely different if people know they are being filmed. Better, or worse… we’ll just have to wait and see.

On my way back from my afternoon snack trip, I walked by a scraped up, shirtless biker talking to a paunchy business suit. Obviously the cyclist had just gotten hit by this guy. The older guy was trying to convince the kid that his bike was fine, as the kid looked for obvious damage.

“Take it to a shop.” I blurted. Couldn’t help myself. “Don’t just eye it, take it to a shop.”

“Yeah… ” said the kid, agreeing with me. He then noticed that his break lever was hanging off by a thread. “See!?” he gestured to the older guy.

“Call the cops, now. File a report.”, I said. I was so pissed off that the old dude was just trying to drive away from this.

“Nice shirt..” the biker said to me.

I walked into  my office, peed, and grabbed a bottle of water, running outside to give it to the biker as he waited for the police…

… and he was gone. They both were. Obviously they didn’t wait for the police. I really hope the guy is on his way to the station now to report this. I’m so pissed off.

Wherever you are guy, good luck. And I also hope you were wearing sunblock.

A 64 bus ran the red light right in front of me as I was trying to take off on Harvard Street and Cambridge today, emulating to the very micron the scenario that sparked my crusade against the MBTA. Nothing has changed at all. I am very depressed by this. It is time to get uncivil.

There, I said it. I’m just not that interested. I have an electric kettle that boils water in like three seconds flat, I’ll make my own coffee with it. End of problem, moving on.

Aaaanyway, hullo children! I’ve had a busy and exciting few weeks. And luckily, I haven’t run into a ton of trouble with motorists/buses. There was one particular bus that I seriously believe tried to kill me: I was in the bike lane on Harvard, once again, and the bus passed me just enough to put me halfway down it’s length. It then started turning into the bike lane to approach the next bus stop. I hollered, rang my bell like mad and I could actually see the bored-looking woman driving glance into the rearview mirror and look DIRECTLY INTO MY EYES. Of course, she kept turning. I had to angle into the curb and dive off my bike in order to avoid getting squashed or pulled under the bus. While she was stopped I tried to approach the door to give her a piece of my mind, but she quickly closed the door and sped away, as I stood their screaming with my heart in my throat. I called the MBTA right away to report it, but of course was put on hold for 15 minutes, after which the recording came on telling me they were closed for the day. I fucking give up. I’m just going to start carrying large rocks with me. If it tries to hit me, I will hit IT. I have every right to defend myself.

Other than that it’s been a smashing time for riding this spring. Even the rainy days have been mostly tolerable. Mostly. I rode from my house in Somerville last week to a friend’s house in Waltham, and though it was only raining slightly both before and after my ride, it of course decided to drown me during the 45 minutes it took to go that far. I was dressed nice, too, and I had to show up looking like a grime-speckled drowned chicken. Luckily my friends know what to expect, and generally don’t give me shit if I don’t look like I just walked out of a salon.

This weekend I spent time in Newburyport for a friend’s birthday. We had planned a bike ride, and I showed up expecting to see said friend (who shall remain nameless) on a beat up fixed gear, old road bike or at the very least a cheap hybrid. Maybe I overestimate people. As I rolled Krankenberry off the train I caught sight of him sitting astride a tiny, cheap old BMX with half-inflated tires. My excitement for the bike ride quickly deflated.

That bike-snobbery aside, we had a great time tooling around Maudsley State Park, and though I can’t really vouch for it being a great place to ride (I saw no other bikers and the paths we took were definitely walking only), it was a beautiful place, quiet clean and green. Just hide your booze well – we had to dump half a bottle out because an over-protective ranger pegged us as hooligans and tailed us in. Hooligans! Well, I never!

Sunday was mostly a travel/recovery day but I did have time to clean up and cruise around for Somerville Open Studios, with a late night stop at Redbones for thirst-quenching beer and some deep fried okra. Om nom nom.

Today it is rains again, but it’s also 80f outside. I realize now that I have no ‘hot weather’ rain gear. I opted to just wear as little as possible and let it air dry as I sat in the office, and I wasn’t disappointed.

So, guys… I’m essentially stalled in my activism for the moment. I see that though I’ve been heard, and many pro-bike changes are being made, I’m still making zero headway with that which sparked this drive in me: the MBTA. There has been zero improvement in their observation of traffic laws, their accountability, and their vigilance when it comes to keeping others safe. I’m concerned that it might take gestures possibly viewed as less than civil to really create some recognition of these ongoing problems. Concerned, but not unwilling to take these steps. We shall see.

I had an amazing day today with Ltrain and Racheline: we dressed up as the Mad Hatter, March Hare and Doormouse and rode our bikes to the Boston Common for the Palin Tea Party Rally. On the way we sang a gut-wrenchingly horrible acapella rendition of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody, and boggled the minds of many a driver and pedestrian. Sadly, it seems that we got there after much of the brouhaha had died down. Though we did find our Mad Tea Party friends and had a lovely spot of tea and some finger foods on the common, we did not get yelled at or menaced by the raging halfwit Palin supporters. We also got photographed by about three thousand people – it turns out we were the ONLY full set of Mad Wonderlanders in the crowd, and they loved us! I can’t wait to find my own picture on some horrible Red State blogroll.

MBTA = MURDER

If you’ve been following this blog you know my story – I’ve been hit twice and menaced countless times by negligent, distracted MBTA drivers. I am not a daredevil – I ride in the bike lane, signal, wear a helmet. These precautions did not prevent me from being hit, and when I contacted the MBTA I was denied information about the drivers who hit me. Apparently they only have to report to a higher authority if someone dies. Horrifyingly, on Wednesday Eric Michael Hunt, 23, did die. Though many details have both been released and speculated upon, the details of this one particular instance are less important than the fact that this  ongoing safety issue has been ignored by the MBTA, law enforcement officials, and government representatives. Despite whatever findings are made in terms of responsibility in this case, the real blame lays on the power structure responsible for the competence of the MBTA operators, the department of transportation planning, and the Boston Police Department.

Thursday the 15th I will be be at the Dudley Square stop between 7 and 9 a.m. to address this issue to Richard Davey. I hope you will be, too.