It has come to my attention, after extensive communications with the powers that be and their lackeys, that our cities have no intention of clearing the snow out of our bike lanes. They also have no intention of moving or ticketing the cars parked in the bike lanes. All this is in spite of the fact that the winter months are the harshest and most dangerous to cyclists, who are the most vulnerable of commuters year round.

However, rather than bemoan our fates, I say we do what the city should be doing and get out there ourselves and shovel out the bike lanes! If the powers that be think it’s too much hassle or just don’t care, then it’s up to us to preserve our own safety with a little DIY action.

My plan  is this, and I hope you follow along:

We should be seeing the end of the coming precipitation by this Sunday eve. At that point I will venture forth, shovel in hand, and station myself at the nearest unplowed bike lane. I will then proceed to remove the snow from it! If I am able to complete one bike lane before my back is broken, I will move on to another and clear THAT bike lane. Where will I put the snow? Wherever! It’s not my fucking problem as long as it’s not in the bike lane, right?

I urge you to take up your icepicks and shovels and buckets of sand and join  me at the front line of the battle! If you have a specific commuter route you need cleared, start there! Call your friends! Bring a boombox and make a party out of it!

If you aren’t a cyclist but just want to help, email me at kamikazelove at gmail and I’ll point you toward a lane in need!

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE FREE OF HARASSMENT

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE  YOUR TAXES SPENT ON PROGRAMS THAT BENEFIT YOU!

FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO THE STREETS!

I emailed the Bicycle Transportation contact for Boston, Cambridge and Somerville about our choked bike lanes. Somerville got back to me, but only to tell me to send a request to 311. So I have, about a few streets. It seems that Cambridge only has a ‘request a sidewalk shoveled’ page here.  Please sign in and add your street or your entire route.

I have yet to find a form for the Boston environs, but you can always email Nicole.Freedman.bra@cityofboston.gov, who represents the interests of the cycling community.

Keep fighting the good fight, kids.

This used to be my bike lane…

204-209 N. Harvard St. Allston MA, Facing North

204-209 N. Harvard St. Allston MA, Facing South

There  used to be a full bike lane here, aligning perfectly with the one further north on N. Harvard. It was  a bit treacherous because all kinds of vehicles would park in it anyway to visit the Dunken Donuts lurking behind the UPS truck in pic 2, but I was vigilant and tried to clear them out every time. Sadly, the three or four times I came across a fire engine or ambulance there, they just laughed at me when I asked them to move from the bike lane.

And then, they paved the road. The bike lane has reappeared on the opposite side of the street, but I guess the Infrastructure Gurus think that our safety is less important than the public’s need for hot coffee and glazed donuts.

Thanks again, guys!

I’m so sick of holier-than-thou cyclists applauding the recent attention we have been getting from the po-po. Oh, really? This means we have arrived? You don’t say? So what you’re saying is that if I call the police today and tell them I’ve been hit by an MBTA bus, and that I’m on a bicycle and not harmed physically, they won’t respond with, “What do you want us to do about it?”. And if I am knocked over by a car making an unannounced right turn and I phone the Allston police, I  won’t hear, “Sorry, there is nothing we can do unless you’re injured.”

That would be great! Unfortunately for all of us, it’s a pile of shiny crap. If I am in a motor vehicle of any kind, and I am hit by another motor vehicle, or hell, even a cyclist, the cops will respond within minutes. I’ve tested this and so have you, as do hundreds of drivers every month here in good ole’ Beantown. Try it if you’re on a bike, however, and the tune changes completely. Unless the cops are called by a startled bystander who just watched your head go through the windshield of an SUV, or as they watch your crumpled, broken body bleed out onto the pavement in the wake of an MBTA bus that made a quick and unannounced stop right through  you, you are going to be left high and dry by the same establishment that wants you to believe that you are ‘recognized and accepted’.

I hear a lot of bullshit every day, but rarely does such a whiffy grade of dook affect me so intimately.  Let me reminisce…

Do you remember not so long ago when I was hit by MBTA buses making sharp turns into their stops, while I was in the bike lane  not one or two but THREE times in two months? If you ride, you know exactly what I mean: you’re tooling along happily in your lane, and suddenly you hear a roar from  your left as a bus passes you at about 25mph. Just as it gets exactly half it’s length past you, it brakes and pulls sharply to the right, knocking you over, pinching you to the curb or sometimes knocking you fully over the curb. Each time this happened, I called the police and was told, “that’s not our jurisdiction”. Interesting. I called the MBTA police and was forced to leave a message. I never got a response. I left complaint after complaint on the MBTA website.  I never got a response.  After that I started chasing these buses myself trying to retrieve the identity of the  driver. “Give me your name, you just HIT ME!”, I hollered through the closed door. “I DON’T HAVE TO!” the portly bus driver lady hollered back. She had hit me intentionally, after a threat that she’d do so. I’m sorry, but if you are in your car and another car rams you intentionally, I daresay that is ASSAULT WITH A DANGEROUS WEAPON.

Or how about the call after call after call, and television spot, and email complaints, etc that I’ve sent to everyone from the Allston police to the Mayor, regarding the intersection of Cambridge St. and Harvard St.  At every single round of lights, all day and night, all year long, vehicles run this red at a rate of between 3-10 vehicles each time. This includes police vehicles, fire engines, schoolbuses full of children, MBTA buses, you name it. What has been done about this known issue that endangers the lives of hundreds of people, including myself, every day? DICK. SQUAT.

And then there was the time when, during a rainy, dank monday, a BMW driver taking a sharp right onto Waterhouse ST. from Mass Ave hit my wheel, stopped, and rolled down the window to shriek, “I oughta run you off the fucking road!!” and peeled away as I picked up my bike, retorting weakly, “…you just did.”  I called the police and they told me I could ride over to the station, with my taco’d wheel, if I wanted to give a statement, but that in all likelihood they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

I feel so accepted! XD

(FYI, every single time I have been hit, I was following the law to the letter. Go figure.)

As far as I can see, cyclists are really a type of untouchable caste, undeserved of the same protection and attention as their ‘betters’ in cars or on foot. If I’m going to be untouchable, I’m taking all the perks, thank you very much.  As an invisible two-wheeled peasant, I am happy to look after myself, as long as I don’t have to kowtow to the same institutional bullshit as the vehicular vaisyas and the bureaucratic brahmins.

The cops’ methods of enforcement are similarly insulting. They will wait at particular ‘trouble intersections’ (read: wherever it’s easiest to park and reasonably close to a cafe) and hide behind a vehicle, watching for cyclist that run lights, who the cops will then grab bodily as the cyclist rides by.  I’ve only ever seen them at intersections through which it is completely safe for bikes to proceed through a red – great visibility, long pedestrian lights. I also only see them on bright, sunny days. It must be really swell to be able to avoid the streets during days like today, with the constant downpour and the foot-deep road lakes. Color me envious.

How about putting a patrol in Harvard Square Southbound, where I can flag you down and indicate the taxis parked in the bike lane, or the bus that just ran me off the road during the curve in front of the COOP? Oh right, it ‘s because you’d end up giving more tickets to motorists than cyclists. Man, life is hard for the long arm of the law.

The situation is like a heavy-handed after-school special on Lifetime. The protagonist is a delinquent teenager (la cyclistas, obvs), disobedient and destructive. We want them to shape up and we wonder why they act out so ferociously.  And then we’re treated to a snapshot of their home life. GovernMom is preoccupied and removed, preferring to buy the child’s love with gifts and privilege, while the Police Dadpartment is abusive, dismissive and hypocritical. Who will steer this kid through the confusing and traumatic journey through adolescence? Will Cindy the Cyclist give up her coke habit, dump her bad news boyfriend and finally apply to her college of choice?

I wouldn’t keep your fingers crossed.

This morning on my way down Mass Ave, rather than potbellied cops on motorcycles waiting to give mild mannered cyclists unnecessary tickets, I came upon  some kind of huge DPW truck siphoning water from the nearby hydrants. The truck was in the left lane, across the road from the hydrants, and the 3″ thick hose was unavoidable. They expected traffic to go over it.  Yours truly, assuming they had taken ‘bicycle traffic’ into account when setting this up, expected the hose to give even just a little, allowing me to stay with the flow of traffic. Nope. It rolled instead, causing me to capsize in the street, completely wracking my left elbow and knee and smooshing my bike bell beyond repair. I guess my five mile run is out of the question now, as is going more than 8mph on  my bike for the rest of the week. Thanks a bunch for thinking of the cyclists, City of Cambridge!

Dicks.

So, let the fun begin!

…

Guys? Anyone? Helloooo!?

Yeah, so far this ‘spring’ has been a buttload of unsatisfying riding days and hibernation nights. Sure, there were some great 50+ days. Three, exactly. But come ON March? In like a lion and out like a douchebag, is what I have to say about it.

Last week I got hit by a car. Yes, again. This time, the twenty-something trust fund twats put some icing on the cake. After brushing by me yelling obscenities and smacking me with the mirror of their spotless black Audi, they stopped for a second, I can only assume to make sure I got the entire well articulated manifesto of hate. When I clambered up to the window to inform them that they’d hit me, and that I’d like their contact information, the hipster-bearded shaggy American Apparel wearing piece of shit on the passenger side spat in my face.

Yeah.

Happily, I was able to get their license plate as they sped off. A day after filing a report with the Brookline Police, I received a call back with the name of the driver, and the description of their report; not only did they not ‘notice’ hitting me, I apparently kicked their car. They did not want to press charges, and would like to avoid court.

The officer I spoke to explained to me that because neither I nor the bike sustained any injury, I would not be able to charge the driver with hit and run. I would, however, have the option of pressing charges on the passenger for ‘assault with bodily fluid’. I said yes, please, I would like to go to court.

I haven’t yet heard further about this  supposed court date. I get it, bureaucracy. I’m not holding out any hope, however, of this ending up in my favor. It seems that if you’re a cyclist, any number of acts of violence, belligerence, and murder can be exacted on your person by noncyclists who then need not fear the slightest accountability. Do I need to link evidence to this fact in the form of countless articles portraying cyclist tragedies in which the crime was labeled a blameless ‘accident’? This incident was the second in THREE WEEKS in which a motorist has swung toward me in order to frighten and harass me and subsequently contacted me with the vehicle, and the last in a long line of ‘accidents’ of negligence and hostility in which I was given no recourse. We are powerless out here, and the efforts of local ‘bike czars’ and activists are doing fuck all to change it. No amount of local ‘bike repair stations’ or badly painted sharrows will change the way motorist view cyclists – as pretentious interlopers or hapless peasants stealing a portion of the roadway that the taxes they’ve paid have so entitled them to enjoy. And I’m not joking, here. I’ve been the audience to at least five earnest monologues, hollered from the driver’s seat through the passenger window, outlining exactly why the excise tax they paid on their vehicle entitled the driver to the entire road, and that I was inconveniencing them and even greedily hijacking something they had paid blood, sweat and tears for the rights to.

I don’t really know where to go from here. I’ve come to the conclusion that unless the Age of Aquarius rolls in, nothing is going to change the murderous environment that cyclists in this area suffer daily. Evidence to the contrary? I wish I had even the remotest shred. The only positive I experience on the road every day is the volleys of ‘nice goggles!’ that come from pedestrians and my fellow cyclists and yes, even cops. I suppose, if you ain’t going to ride fly than you might as well hate, eh?

I’m not really on any committee. I don’t go to meetings, for a few reasons, including inability to remember when/where they are, and crippling social anxiety. I’m not part of any official bike club or movement. I’m mostly a loner (Dotty), a rebel. But when I’m on the phone with people, I do make a lot of lofty claims about the level of contact I have in the community – I have a squeaky girl voice, so to be taken seriously on the phone is a bit of a challenge.

Today I spoke to a nice gentleman at the MASSDot about the state of the Mass Pike pedestrian bridge in Allston. He informed me that it is the Mass Pike Authority’s responsibility to maintain it, and not the city’s. He also admitted that he did not have the direct number to the Mass Pike authority. No wonder nothing really gets done around here.

I don’t want to jump the gun and get hopes up, but I have ordered a small, battery powered spy cam. I’m hoping to mount it on my helmet in such a way that all the idiocy I witness during my daily commute is captured and useful as evidence in the event that I am struck (again) or otherwise menaced. Not sure about the quality of the cam yet (it was cheap) or the method of mounting, so this plan is tentative, but I’m pretty excited. I have the feeling that attitudes will be completely different if people know they are being filmed. Better, or worse… we’ll just have to wait and see.

For the last two days I’ve been only one of a veritable love train of cyclists commuting during rush hour. Not all of them obey the rules or wear helmets, but they all seem to  be respectful, and all wear that beatific, peaceful look that says, “I am outside on a beautiful day, and my heart is beating with mild exertion – life is good.”

Obviously, life isn’t ALL good – we still have to contend with yawning potholes, stressed out or ‘attention blind’ motorists, and the occasional bike falmunction. I saw a woman lose her lunch yesterday, literally, on my morning commute. I guess her backpack had unzipped, releasing a large tupperware bowl full of delicious looking salad. If you read this, I feel for you miss. That’s some rough luck on a Monday morning.

Speaking of falmunctions – apparently Krankenberry’s issue was with the hub after all. Luckily it is totally fixable and I should be hearing back from Ace Wheelworks today at some point. Kranky has  certainly been living up to her name in the past few weeks. Hopefully this is my last fix on her for a long while.

Calypso has been a lifesaver. I had a little bit of work to do on her before she was rideable as you can see:

I love riding vintage bikes. The weight and the feel of them actually force you to slow down and chill out, making for a ride that is the embodiment of leisure. It’s not something I’d want to do for my commute every day, but it makes a great change of pace. Also, it’s nice to know that with a minimum of upkeep, I’m going to have this lovely lady to fall back on for as long as I can find room for her in my basement.

It looks like SeeClickFix.com is getting more and more traffic every day (pun? sure why not). I’m excited that this is taking off, and that people are posting more than just potholes – mistimed traffic lights, dangerous intersections, hanging electrical wires, and bike lane necessities have made it on to the site in the last few weeks. Now if we can make sure all these notifications are going to the right people, we should be in business. Also, I want a cellphone app for this. For Android, of course 😛

ride on, my lovelies.

After my interview with WBZ News and correspondence with John Houghton of the MBTA, I decided to lay low for a while and observe the outcome of this activity. It is with profound disappointment that I report absolutely no change in the illegal driving activity of the MBTA buses. In the last three weeks I have observed and reported numerous buses running red lights, buses offloading passengers in the middle of the street rather than a designated bus stop, and I have once again been hit by an MBTA bus that did not stop.

It has become apparent that nothing is changing, and that accountability is a thing of myth and legend when it comes to the MBTA.

What am I to do next?

I attempted to follow up on the reports I have made to the MBTA by calling and requesting information; citing the ‘pin number’ that was assigned to my complaint. What I received was a lecture about procedure, “your complaint is taken by the MBTA communications office and sent to the Administration/Garage, where it is reviewed and it is possible that the driver was held accountable”. That’s great, but that  doesn’t tell me anything about MY personal case. How can I hold the MBTA accountable, and specifically the DRIVER WHO HIT ME WITH A BUS, if the MBTA refuses to release information? I am still awaiting a call back from the supervisor of the complaint line; I requested the driver’s ID number, which they are legally bound to give you if you request it. We’ll see if they call back.

Google finally instituted a biking option into maps!

<3

On a less cheerful note: apparently all the sweat we’ve put into taking the MBTA to task is going straight down the drain. I had to report three different buses yesterday alone; one for a red light run in Somerville, one for stopping in the very center of the lane on Mass Ave. to let riders off, and one for crushing me into the curb as it passed me and hooked a fast right into a bus stop.

Needless to say I am UTTERLY disappointed and disgusted. Obviously there has been no company wide alert as to the lack of attention to safe driving. Hell, for all we know NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE AT ALL. I demand we have evidence of action on the part of the MBTA. I was told by a representative of the MBTA yesterday that drivers are REQUIRED to give you their Identification number when you request it. Why then, if I am reporting a crime by a bus or route, can I not receive an email with the identification number of the driver I reported, and follow up information as to what steps were taken to reprimand the driver for their crime?

I don’t see that any improvement will be made until the MBTA, in it’s entirety, is held accountable for every crime committed by every operator of every vehicle. Please, if you see a crime or an infraction of MBTA operational regulations, report it immediately, and keep a copy of the acknowledging email.