The Cambridge PD can suck it.

So it finally happened. I proceeded carefully through a red, after stopping, along Mass Ave in Cambridge and lo, two buzzcut headed bullies in blue stopped me and tried to ticket me. Natch, I got out of it, though I’m not going to say how. What I will say is this; don’t try to out run them. They have motorcycles, and they will be pissed if they have to exert themselves, the chubby bastards. Also, don’t try to out talk them. Like most authority figures, it’s a lost cause to try and reason with them logically. Just out think them. It’s not that hard.

Good luck, my fellow rogues!

Seems like everyone has voiced their opinion about my little ticketing gag. Oh, what fun! Watch the internet chase it’s tail just because of one little snook cocked at one oblivious motorist. Well, since this has been deemed SO controversial, I say: do it again! I found a pack of 100 tickets on Amazon for $15 (this is the best deal I’ve found so far, they are most often sold 5 a pack for 5 bucks). Here’s the link if you want to join in on the fun!

In other news: by Jove it’s a lovely day today! Not a spec of humidity, hardly a cumulonimbus to be seen. Definitely smacking of New England Autumn, my favorite season ever. This morning’s ride was a turnip for the books: not an unruly vehicle in sight, AND I got a compliment on my sweet-ass Yakkay helmet from a motorist who was next to me at a red light. I love this helmet – I’ve never had one that didn’t bunch up at the back of my neck before, and I really hate the ‘speedy swiss cheese’ look of most available bike helmets. It’s too bad they’re not available in the states yet, I’d love to get a couple different ‘covers’ for mine. Maybe I will sew a cover that looks like a monster head or a space helmet… oh the possibilities. Oh shit, I wonder if these would fit my helmet.

if you can hear the music, it means I'm right behind you!

So cool. Or as Monsieur Danny Rocks would say, ‘so aggressively uncool’.

I need a new bike. I have a nice big chunk of change earmarked for this new bike. I know exactly what I want to be riding, from stem to stern, as it were. You’d think it’d be easy to walk into a shop and/or a custom build boutique and say “here, have my moneys and give me this not so complex item” but noooo. It seems that all the shops are too busy (or too cool) to need my cash, and the designers are all so backed up that there’s no way I’d be getting anything concrete until the middle of next summer. What’s a girl to do? I want a bike, and I want it NOW(ish)! I know that if I don’t get someone to help soon, I’m going to just break down and get a pre-assembled POS to ride for another year, and I won’t be satisfied. Grr.

In other news, it seems that they have decal’d and signed the bike lane on N. Harvard, which is awesome. Not so awesome is the fact that it seems tickets are no deterrent to the people who really want to park there. I wonder how much they are ticketing for. I think this afternoon I’ll stop and take a peek at the total price of being a douchebag. At the same time I may leave a ticket of my own. Here’s a peek:

My phone cam is crappy, but on the back of the fake ticket you can check boxes on such violations as:

• Parking like a Jackass
• Taking up 2 Spaces (Jerk)
• Being Illiterate (it says ‘RESERVED’)
• Ugly Driver Violation

And much much more! You can get these fakey tickets at bigmouthtoys.com.