I highly doubt he ‘asked’ the kids to get out of his way, especially if it was who I think it was.

A few weeks ago, a truck from Brighton Towing pushed me into the curb while I was traveling in the bike lane in the Brookline end of Harvard St., southbound. When we reached a red light, I hollered ‘Too Close’, at the driver, as I am wont to do when speedy parasites infringe upon my lanespace. When he caught up with me again, he swerved into the bike lane ON PURPOSE this time, screaming out the window. Assault with a deadly tow truck, I’d call that. Anyway, I found out his name is Jay, via calling the number ON HIS TRUCK. Idiot.

Seems someone got their just desserts at Brighton Towing, probably for following this same driving/public relations pattern. I really hope it was our good friend Jay. Karma is a dirty bitch, and I buy her a whole lot of drinks.

Today’s experiment yielded a chap going up the pedestrian ramp, on a bike, suuuuper slowly. I felt a bit bad for him until I passed and realized that he was doing it with one hand because in the other he was holding a cup of Dunk. “The coffee, it’s a handicap!”, I exclaimed. (see: The goggles, they do nothing!) I hope he understood that I was just playing with him. He then proceeded to blow through every red light all the way up Harvard St. in Allston. Holding a coffee. I wish I’d caught his name so I can keep an eye out for it in the police notes.

The second anomaly of today was a large tow truck, marked Brighton Towing, Inc.   The truck swerved into the bike lane to avoid a ‘$100 fine’ standing mid-road sign and was close enough to brush my elbow. At the next red light I hollered “TOO CLOSE!” into  his window, as a public service announcement. I’m nice like that. As he passed me farther on he swerved in toward me threateningly and yelled something out of the window that was entirely unintelligible but obviously negative, so at the NEXT red light I stopped and queried at his window. I’m not sure if his face was just built like that or if he was actually really trying, but he was giving me the most moronic look I’ve ever seen on another human being. Given the amount of reality TV I’ve seen in the past I was not a little bit impressed. He ended his rant of garbled nonsense with ‘why are you riding a bike, are you not right in the head?’…

What does one say to this, really?

What drivers of large vehicles owned by small businesses need to understand is that if they act like idiots on the road, all you or I have to do is stroll inside and google the name of their company. I called Brighton Towing, and I now know that the operator that threatened me goes by the name of Jay. I didn’t go to the police because I don’t really have anything to show (and man do they hate to be bothered unless you’re bleeding), but I DO know how to contact him if I need to, and I know the address of his place of business, and his email address. Good going, Jay. May you land yourself the role of a lifetime in the next season of ‘Traffic Wars’.

If you see a silver convertible BMW with the license plate NCN and a faded pair of Red Sox underneath the plate driving around today, tell the fat entitled bitch behind the wheel that Grimlocke the bike vigilante says Hi. She’ll probably know who you mean. Also remind her that the bike lane is never a casual parking spot, even if you ‘have a child in the car’, because yes, I do indeed have all day, and yes, I will call our good friends the police. Because yes, I am a smartass bitch. I chose it as a hobby because I have a knack. I should have taken a picture of this chubby twit.

On the topic of things I should have taken a picture of – the second person I stopped to be a smartass bitch at today because they were parked in the bike lane was actually a woman with a beard. I just kept riding. Some things you just have to let go.

Thursday, August 27th, 2009. North Harvard St.

blue skies and open roads

I need a new bike. I have a nice big chunk of change earmarked for this new bike. I know exactly what I want to be riding, from stem to stern, as it were. You’d think it’d be easy to walk into a shop and/or a custom build boutique and say “here, have my moneys and give me this not so complex item” but noooo. It seems that all the shops are too busy (or too cool) to need my cash, and the designers are all so backed up that there’s no way I’d be getting anything concrete until the middle of next summer. What’s a girl to do? I want a bike, and I want it NOW(ish)! I know that if I don’t get someone to help soon, I’m going to just break down and get a pre-assembled POS to ride for another year, and I won’t be satisfied. Grr.

In other news, it seems that they have decal’d and signed the bike lane on N. Harvard, which is awesome. Not so awesome is the fact that it seems tickets are no deterrent to the people who really want to park there. I wonder how much they are ticketing for. I think this afternoon I’ll stop and take a peek at the total price of being a douchebag. At the same time I may leave a ticket of my own. Here’s a peek:

My phone cam is crappy, but on the back of the fake ticket you can check boxes on such violations as:

• Parking like a Jackass
• Taking up 2 Spaces (Jerk)
• Being Illiterate (it says ‘RESERVED’)
• Ugly Driver Violation

And much much more! You can get these fakey tickets at bigmouthtoys.com.

The ride to work today was amazingly serene. However (there’s always a however), while entering Harvard Square from the north, I was once again forced out of the bike lane and into traffic by the ass end of a taxi. You know where I’m talking about :

View Larger Map
This is the same story, day in, day out. So this time I’m going to bitch about it, because that’s how I roll.
So far the only contact info I have for bike issues in Cambridge is cseiderman@cambridgema.gov, at 617/349-4629. The Community Development Department TTY line is 617/349-4621. If this isn’t the best person to talk to, hopefully she (Cara Seiderman) can point me in the right direction.
I have to admit, Cambridge is pretty tolerable to ride through, as compared to some of it’s surrounding neighbors like Allston, Boston Proper, Revere, etc. With the exception of roads like Somerville Ave and Prospect St., I don’t often feel crowded on the main thoroughfares. Cambridge Street has to be dealt with, though. If you don’t know already, the ‘bike lanes’ drawn up and down C-street are not actually enforceable by law, because there are no decals drawn in, nor posted signage. This situation arose because, or so I’m told, many business owners on the street protested a bike lane. I can’t really understand why, but I believe it has to do with delivery parking on the street, as well as stricter rules for double parking when there is a bike lane present. Either way, it’s ridiculous. I almost wish some guerilla bike advocacy group would paint in some little cyclists decals, just to get people thinking about it again. I would never encourage something like that, of course…

The bike lane on North Harvard is still without decals or signage, or any kind of enforcement whatsoever. I understand that these things take time, but it didn’t take any time whatsoever to pave and then paint the extensive vehicle traffic lines, so what gives with the rest of the business? Maybe if more people bug Nicole about it, she’ll grease the wheels a little bit:

Nicole Freedman

Director of Bicycle Programs

One City Hall Square, Suite 932

Boston, MA 02201

617.429.8440

Nicole.Freedman.bra@CityofBoston.gov

Hi,

Thank you for your email.  This project is not yet complete. We still have to add decals, new signs, etc, after which we can begin enforcement. We do intend to make these lanes workable for the cyclists.

Thanks for alerting us to the issue.

Nicole Freedman

_____

Hi again Nicole,

My fellow bicycle commuters and I have noticed that there are still no decals or No Parking signs along the new bike lane on North Harvard Street. Can you please give me an idea as to when this project will be done? Can you also please inform me as to why it wasn’t done when the original lines were drawn? Is this project being protested by some? If so, can you inform me as to whom?

-Grimlocke

____

Hi G,

Thank you for your email.  The signs should be up this week at the latest and we will also be placing warning signs on all the cars to let them know that we will start enforcing the no parking rules.  Signs are installed by different contractors than those that do pavement markings, hence the different dates.

Thank you so much.

Nicole Freedman

Director, Boston Bikes

One City Hall Square, Rm 932

Boston, MA 02201

(617) 918-4456 (work)

Remember this, score one for the good guys, right?

And they’ve also repaved N. Harvard Street, so fresh and so smooth, complete with bike lanes! oh yay!

Oh… wait.

There are also signs like this posted all along this lane.

But nobody seems to care.

Great work, guys.